You are not my mom

I am in my late 40ies and recently got married to a really great guy.  He is tall and handsome, smart, kind, responsible and he truly loves me.  I never wanted to have kids and as a rule never dated men with kids, but as I got older it seemed like that narrowed the dating pool to like 3 random guys.  So when I met my husband, we will call him Tom, I figured how hard could it be to date someone with kids.  It seemed like he had his life together, he was a Navy Officer, had 2 boys and I assumed a normal ex-wife.  I am still friends with most men I dated and one is married to a girl he started dated when we lived together and the other one is gay. If I could work through those things, I figured if you are married and there was no infidelity, why would you not get along with your ex-spouse. I mean you loved them enough to marry them and have kids with them.